So now you know your loved one's needs and the different types of care services available in general. (If you don’t, check our Becoming Aware and Finding the Right Help sections.) Now it’s time to take these next steps:
Making the Initial Contacts
There are three things you’re seeking in a care provider for your loved one:
- They offer the services your loved one needs.
- They meet your value for price paid.
- They "feel right."
To find the right place for your loved one will take your through the six steps listed above.
Step 1: Call and Evaluate Potential Providers
To make your initial evaluations, call at least three providers and ask questions about the different services they offer. Refer to the checklists you’ve downloaded from the Profiling Needs section of this website for the items you marked as being particularly important. There will be differences in the ways these capabilities are delivered, and if the differences are not clear to you, ask the provider for an example that makes them clear.
Try to learn about the providers' costs and payment approaches; you may find that providers would like you to come to their sites for this discussion, which is not unreasonable. Again, don’t hesitate to question any terminology that isn’t clear to you.
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Step 2: Bring Your Loved One Into the Process
Once you have enough information to explain the options, plan to have a discussion with your loved one. For this step, please consult How to discuss care options with your loved one.
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Step 3: Make On-Site Visits
Once your phone contacts have gleaned the providers that seem to match your checklists, it’s time for an on-site visit. This is the most important part of your evaluations. It is your opportunity not only to get more information, but to see if the site "feels right." Does it offer the comfort, friendliness, cleanliness, and general "livability" your loved one will need? Will you feel comfortable visiting there? Do you feel good about the staff and feel that you will have contacts on whom you can rely to care for your loved one and communicate with you?
Once you find one or more providers that seem right to you, it’s time to bring your loved one into the process. This is an opportunity to see his or her reactions; to recheck your initial evaluations, and to get your loved one comfortable with the idea of moving.
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Step 4: Find an Advisor
As you evaluate providers and bring your loved one to visits, you may begin to develop a relationship with one of the providers' representatives, who may come to serve as an advisor for you. This person should be highly knowledgeable, ready to communicate, and act with your loved one's best interests in mind.
Cultivate this relationship. It will make completing your evaluations and selecting the right provider much easier, and give you real peace of mind. Chances are, if the provider has one person whom you can trust, the provider has a philosophy that permeates the entire organization and that will positively influence the care your loved one receives.
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Step 5: Plan the Move
Once you have made your choice, you will need to plan how to move your loved one into his or her new home. We recommend this book:
Moving Mom and Dad! by Sarah Morse and Donna Quinn Robbins
Of course, your provider should have one or more people who can help with this step, including social workers experienced in all the small considerations likely to make the move successful. Rely on them.
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Step 6: Care for Your Loved One—and for Yourself
Once you have moved your loved one into his or her new home, there is one more thing to do: continue to care for, relate to, understand, have patience with, and support your loved one, who is making an adjustment which is difficult even under the best of circumstances.
You also need to be aware of the emotional toll such a move can take on you. You may find support from the provider you choose. We urge you to look for support groups in your area that can be of great assistance. One place to start: the National Family Caregiver’s Association.
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